Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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