you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
