Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
