i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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