I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize