i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
