We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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