Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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