I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
