im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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