why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
