Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
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I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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