i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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