i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
