im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
