I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
