Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
