The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
