If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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