do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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