I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
