Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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