You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
