Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch