im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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