i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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