dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
