walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
