apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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