Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What drink are we having for lunch?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
