your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
