Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
