Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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