CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize