I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My life is pants optional.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
