I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize