at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
as a side note pls kill me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
