Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
