she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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