Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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