last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
