she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
