Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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