God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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