All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
