Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
