He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
