They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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