Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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