the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
