And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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