I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
