I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
