oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
