Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
