i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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