Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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