; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize